Bob, The Rash Came Back -- Sue

2002-12-19T01:03:00.000-05:00

I miss you. Every night I roll over and reach for you, and then I want to cry when I realize that you're not there. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I have a hard time going back to sleep because the warmth of your body isn't forming its protective safety shield over me. I feel silly because it's only been a few days since I last saw you, but I can't help but wish that you were here to tell me that you love me, to kiss me goodnight, and to hold my hand when I'm walking or watching TV. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but this absence is driving me crazy. I want to hear your voice, see your face, make you smile... I'm going to attempt to sleep yet again, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you. Oh yeah, and I've been sleepin wit da woman. :-P

2002-11-08T17:07:00.000-05:00

Owwww!!! I'm in pain!!! And I'm stuck in this house all alone... And I'm hungry and I don't have any food - don't want to steal other people's food cuz I know they're pretty possessive of their shiznit. And I'm tired... I WANT TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!!!

2002-10-29T18:45:00.000-05:00

I got to hang out with my friend Jim today, and it was really great. I'm SO happy for him because he seems like he's... well, happy... which is really out of character for him. He's a total pessimist, which is why I think he kinda sticks with me, cuz I'm such an optimist. But he was really hurt that this is the first time I've seen him since I've been back... and I feel horrible about it. I'm such a bad friend! And my friend Paul had a birthday party and I guess he really, really wanted me to go and I didn't... and he was really sad... Sorry Piz!!! Seriously dawg, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! I really didn't know that those guys cared if I was there or not. I mean, I know they like hanging out, but I never would've thought it would hurt someone's feelings if I missed something... it makes me feel bad, but really really good at the same time. It's good to know people care...

Sometimes it's really hard to share you. I know that I get most of your time, and you'll always come home to me, and that I can't nor would I want to tell you what to do... but I know that you understand when I say that I wish that it was just you and me and I didn't have to think about your past or anything like that... I couldn't ask for anything more - you're too good to me as it is... but sometimes I just don't want to share. I know it's selfish, but I want you all to myself. It's just hard to think that you're not really all mine...

I swear, I am NEVER gonna get to see Saves the Day! Dude, if I hadn't been so cheap I coulda gotten tickets earlier, but NO... I had to wait and now they're all sold out. Fuck! I really want to see them!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!!

2002-10-22T18:24:00.000-04:00

So since I'm finally pretty much settled back in here in SD, I think I should start up my blog again... I don't really have all that much to say, but then again, I never had much to say before either...

Sometimes I feel so completely alone even though I'm so far from being lonely. Does this happen to everyone? Or just me? Like sometimes I just want to cry because I feel like I have nobody to talk to and nobody loves me even though that is sooooooo not reality. I feel like such a burden sometimes, and I feel like I don't do anything for myself... like I rely on other people for everything. Feeling burdenous goes hand in hand with feeling worthless, I think... I don't feel worthless right now, per se... but you know, sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm really happy when I'm home alone because I get to turn up the music really really loud and sing like a crazy lady... yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. :-D Sometimes I really wish that I had a desk, because typing on a keyboard that's on the floor or on your lap really starts to wear down your wrists and fingers after awhile. I hope to get one soon, but who knows? Sometimes, like RIGHT NOW, I really, really, really miss my mom :-( I wish she could just give me a hug.

So you know what sucks? My mom bought me a new computer with the understanding that I'll pay like $20 a month till it's paid off or whatever, no big deal. So she got this cheap one at Circuit City - it's a good computer, and pretty too... it was $700, but $400 after rebates. Okay, here's the sucky part - I didn't send the proofs of purchase to my mom in time for her to get the rebates! So my fucking retardedness cost an extra $300!!! Grrrr!!! This was awhile ago, but I'm still a little upset about it...

So I have one of those Abercrombie bags that you can cut into a poster, and the girl's face is so big that you can totally pick out every blemish... right now one of her eyes looks SO ugly and completely different from the other eye. Sometimes I'm really glad that I'm not a model, cuz there'd be bitchy girls like me picking me apart constantly. That would suck.

Today in my Eating Disorders class two girls talked to the class about their personal battles with anorexia and bulimia. Not only was it one of the most interesting lectures I've ever attended, but it also really made me think. One of the girls is I think a Marshall 3rd year and lived in the dorms freshman year named Megan. She's really pretty and explained that her family's pretty well off, which explains why she always has cute clothes and stuff like that. I'm always sooooo jealous of people like that. They're cute AND they can afford to have all the cutest outfits and stuff like that. I'm always comparing myself to them and wishing that I could be so lucky. But then today she was telling us about her eating disorder and how it started with her lack of control over her family life. First her mom had a mental breakdown and had to be committed for awhile, and then her sister went like crazy. So Megan went to visit her sister in the mental hospital and her sister said, "You have pretty eyes. My sister had pretty eyes. Did you know that my sister was murdered?" Can you imagine!?! I have a little sister, and if she was all messed up like that it would SO tear me apart. Then her mom was cheating on her dad and her dad had a heart attack and it goes ON and ON... So Megan's story made me realize that I am WAY too judgmental. If a girl is pretty and has cute clothes or a cute car or something like that, I automatically assume that she's a bitch and isn't worth my time. It's because I'm jealous, and I've known this for a long time. I never stopped to think about the fact that people are really really good at pretending to be happy and pretending that life is perfect. Hearing those girls' stories was kind of like an affirmation of my life. I can look at my life and say, "These are the reasons that I am happy," and then I could list off like five bazillion things, and I wouldn't be lying. I really really am a happy person. It's really crazy to me that just two years ago, me writing that I am actually happy seemed like an impossibility. I am so blessed.

Hey Steve - my friend from high school's middle name is Curry... weird, huh? But I don't think he ever got beat up because of it.

I'm tired, but knowing me I will not take a nap. Even though I have nothing better to do, I won't let myself take a nap. Grrrr... Okay, maybe I'll eat instead. Norm and I went shopping last night and I have food!!! Imagine that!

2002-10-11T15:29:00.000-04:00

Awesome quote of the day: "Baby, won't you braid my hair?" - Mario's new song "Braid My Hair" Dumbest song EVER! Dude, I bet the guy with the bike would use this as a pickup line... like, "So uhhhh, where can I get my hair braided around here? I'm new here..."

2002-09-30T15:17:00.000-04:00

So the whole point of a vendor fair is so that the fat kids on campus can have some funnel cake... and there's NO FUNNEL CAKE man on campus today!!! What the heck!?! Seriously, if there were a day in my life that I needed some deep fried fatty goodness, today would be that day. :-(

2002-09-12T19:05:00.000-04:00

I'm finally back in Cali! SO good to be here with my boy... his family is really funny :-P I knew I was gonna be this happy, but it's still kind of a shock... like I almost don't know what to do with myself. I hope this never ends :-)

2002-09-10T02:14:00.000-04:00

Grrr! I feel yucky... I can't believe I got sick TODAY! Of ALL the days in the year, my stupid body had to pick TODAY to get sick! Oh well, at least my babe will be with me in a few hours... that makes me feel five million times better. Plus, he can take care of me :-)

2002-09-08T23:15:00.000-04:00

Ouch ouch ouch!!! I was steaming some broccoli and burned my finger! Aaaahhhhhh!!! I'm in PAIN!!! :-P

2002-09-08T20:36:00.000-04:00

My life is wonderful - let's do a quick list of how I am blessed:
1) I get to see my boy in only TWO days!!! This whole summer apart is going to be worth it as soon as I see his oh so cute smiling face at the airport :-)
2) My grandma is slowly but surely getting better
3) I got to go to a ball and get all dressed up and pretty last night
4) I think we might have a house!!! And if not, I'm not too stressed anymore, cuz at least Norm and the boyz got their house...
5) I got to eat alligator and go on a super cool airboat ride today :-P
6) All of my stuff fit in my suitcases!!!
7) Quitting my job was not as traumatic as I thought it would be
8) I get to see my friends soon!
9) My mom bought me a new computer!
10) I love my family :-)

Okay, so I know there's more, but that's all I can think of right this second.

I miss you

MORE,

and I even have photographic evidence :-P

2002-09-05T03:08:00.000-04:00

I'm writing because I know my blog feels very neglected... but there is just way too much to say for me to write it all down. Not tonight anyway, and prolly not ever since I'm lazy... but tonight I'm tired. Only five days till I go home. Five days till I see my boy. Five days till I can finally rest because I'm no longer anxious and waiting for the time that I can finally be in a familiar place with familiar people. I love my family, and I wish they could come with me, but I'm so happy I'm leaving.

2002-08-30T03:05:00.000-04:00

Earlier today, around 5 or 6, there were two bags of Goldfish in the cupboard. Now, there are zero. I'm intrigued. Where could these Goldfish be? I know that nobody in this house grubs on Goldfish like I do, so I'm almost positive that they're still intact somewhere and not in Scott's belly... but WHERE ARE THEY!?! I NEED me some goldfish!!!

2002-08-29T01:36:00.000-04:00

So wow, technically it's already Thursday, which means only 12 days until I get to go home! Oh my goodness - I'm so freaking excited! My life here in FL has been so completely boring - nothing but work, work, work. I'm so sick of working... it's further reinforced my previous wish to stay in school FOREVER. I don't think there's anything new to talk about really... I finally talked to Leah, who has been MIA for the whole summer, so that was cool - she's a funny girl. She had to have her tonsils out because they've been monster-sized ever since about sophomore year of high school. I wish she coulda just kept them though, because she'd play with them with her tongue (yeah, they were that big - you could see them clear as day when she opened up her mouth) and make the funniest face you've ever seen. Like she's one of the prettiest girls I know, and then she'd make this face that would just ruin her looks for a few seconds - so hilarious. I also finally talked to my sister again - we're pretending like the whole calling each other bitches and me hanging up on her thing didn't happen, which is fine with me.

When I get home, I might get to go up north with Norm, which would be so wonderful. I really want to meet his family and see where he's from, and I want him to do the same. I especially want him to meet my sister since I talk about her so often. So yeah, I really hope I get to go... it's okay if I don't, though - as long as he's at the airport to pick me up when I get back to SD, I don't really care what happens after that.

So I'm going to a ball on September 7 - I'm stoked. My aunt's a Major in the Army, and they're having this formal ball for who know's what, and since I'll still be here, I get to go! So yeah, I bought the prettiest dress ever, and there will be uniforms all over - I think the only thing that could make my boy more perfect would be to put him in a uniform. *sigh* I don't think I would be able to restrain myself from jumping him in front of everyone... Anyway, so that's on a Saturday, and the Friday before is my last day at work - yay! Last day! The ball is in Orlando, and we're getting a hotel room so we can all get plastered and we don't have to drive home - yay! Let's get plastered! hahaha... So then I have all day Sunday and Monday to hang out with my cousins and my grandparents and stuff, and then bright and early (I think something like 6:30am - I wanted the earliest possible flight so I could see my boy as soon as I could) it's off to the airport and then HOME! I think these last days here are gonna be really good - I hope so anyway.

lalala - I really don't have much of anything to say, but I'm wasting time till my boy comes online. The day's just not complete unless I get to talk to him...

I miss you...

2002-08-26T17:30:00.000-04:00

I put up pics in my album of Kyle's football game and of me and Scott goofing around... check out Scott's sour face (in the Yahoo! album) - it's the greatest :-P

2002-08-26T03:29:00.000-04:00

haha - gotcha again babe! That's what you get for being a kunk!

2002-08-25T23:04:00.000-04:00

I can breathe again!

2002-08-23T01:09:00.000-04:00

So work was boring as usual today, but I did get up the nerve to tell my boss I'm leaving in 18 days!!! So yeah, I was anxious to get home cuz, ya know, I was sick of working and all that... so I'm driving home and when I'm on my street I run over this frog that's hopping all over the place - scared the shit out of me. I know it seems silly, but frogs just really freak me out, and I've actually been blessed the whole time I've been here because I've only seen like one or two (and the backyard is a freakin jungle). Anyway, so then I walk through the door when I get home, and a frog leaps over my head (he musta been hanging on the outside of the door) and lands on the floor in front of me... and then, as if a scary frog weren't enough, a MONSTER dragonfly flies in and starts chasing me around the house! Aaaahhhhhh!!! Yucky creatures are out to get me I tell ya! So while I was huddled against the wall on the ground in the pantry, my aunt threw the frog out and tried to shoo the dragonfly out the door... but to no avail. I swear it was out for blood and kept trying to get at me... but then it somehow got between the bookshelf (bookcase... is that a word? You know how sometimes you want to say something, and you think it's a word, but you question yourself and then it starts to sound more and more ridiculous, like "You retard - you actually think that is a word!?!" Oh, that never happens to you... hmmm...) and is now stuck there, beating its monster wings till it dies. I feel bad for it, but at the same time, there's no way in hell I'm moving the bookshelf (bookcase? :-P) so that it can try to attack me again. You wanna know what's funny though? I didn't even realize I was afraid of dragonflies. I probably wasn't until the MONSTER one tried to attack me, and now every dragonfly I see is gonna be it's child looking for revenge. My fears are so irrational, and the fact that I know and can admit that is equally disturbing. For example, this is why I'm afraid of frogs: When I used to live in the trailer park, my mom tried many times (unsuccessfully, thus the many times) to grow a garden. During one of these times, she planted a bunch of tomato plants in our tiny, yucky yard, and it became infested (well, maybe there were like four or five) with frogs. One of them was huge (this time I'm not exaggerating, he really was huge), and EVERY time I walked out onto the front porch, he would hop out of the tomatoes, onto the front walkway, and stare up at me. No matter what I did while on the porch, he would stare, and only when I went back in the house would he hop back into the tomatoes. I AM SERIOUS. He did not do this to anybody else. I became convinced that this frog hated me and wanted me dead, and until all the tomatoes died and the frogs made their homes elsewhere, I refused to step foot onto the front porch. So now I can not handle frogs - I can't touch them or even look at them... their sound doesn't really bother me... unless I allow myself to think too much about it and then I start getting paranoid. So now everyone knows the roots of my fears of frogs and dragonflies... now if I could just figure out why snails scare me so badly, I'd be set :-P

2002-08-22T04:26:00.000-04:00

This is shaping up to be the worst week of my entire life. This is not and overstatement or an exaggeration. I haven't had the easiest life - I've had some pretty bad fuckin weeks. But this one... granted, it's not over yet, so it still has time to redeem itself, but with my luck going the way it has, I really don't think that's gonna happen. It all started on Saturday, when I found out the bad news about my grandma. Then my sister's ex-boyfriend called me and told me he was gonna kill himself, but he loved me, goodbye. So I had to call the cops and worry all night long till my mom talked to him the next day. Also, Saturday was the worst day that I've had at work so far - I seriously wanted to shoot someone in the head, and that manifested itself in the form of me almost having a nervous breakdown in front of a whole slough of customers. Anyway, so on Sunday I went to visit my grandma, and that was hard. Just about the hardest thing that I've had to deal with in a long, long time. She's not like a "grandma" grandma that just sits and watches TV and knits, or whatever other people's grandmas do. She's fun and adventurous and wonderful... and to see her just lying on the hospital bed, with so many tubes going in and coming out of her, while we wore protective gloves and gowns... well, you can imagine that I was crying a river. I talked to her and told her that she has to get better because she has to be at my wedding. I can't decide if that's selfish or not, but I don't care - my grandma has to see me get married. I'm crying now just thinking about it. Anyway, so I went to church after that and cried some more. But apparently it was just what I needed. I talked to God a little bit, and he told me that everything's gonna be okay... I was still worried when I got home, but when I woke up on Monday morning, I wasn't worried at all. And I'm still not. I know my grandma's gonna be fine - the only thing I'm concerned about is when she's gonna be okay. She needs to get better now so that I can spend time with her before I leave. Oh well, I should count my blessings - she's gonna be okay, and that's what's really important... a timeframe is rather secondary to that. I'm the only one who's optimistic, but that's alright - my faith is enough... everybody else is just being realistic. Okay, so I'm gonna continue bitching... On Monday, I thought I was supposed to work from 5-9, but turns out I looked at last week's schedule instead of this week's, and this week I was supposed to work 1-8. So I got a call at 3:30 from my manager, and she's like, "Uh, where are you?" So I confidently reply, "Uh, I'm at home. (Where you called me...) I'm not supposed to work till 5." Then she explained that I was retarded and I was in fact almost three hours late to work. So yeah, at least I didn't get in trouble, BUT Mondays mean that I have to work with Jessi. I can not explain the painfully annoying experience that is working with her. First of all, she DOES NOT shut up. Second of all, she INTERRUPTS, which is something that I HATE. Third, she is retarded. Fourth, blah blah blah non-conformist blah blah blah. She's way too fucking concerned about what other people think to consider herself a non-conformist. Okay, she bitches about "preppies" like they're horrible people because they're starting to dress the way she dresses (no, they're not though...) so she can't dress like that anymore because people will think she's a conformist. Then, she orders stuff from Delias and Alloy. Ummm, are those not two of the most popular teen clothing catalogs? But in the immortal words of Erick, "She tries so hard to be different and to look different... but I don't think she looks different. I think she looks like every other lesbian." hahahaha - the best part about that is that it's SO true! Fifth, if I have to hear ONE MORE TIME about how she's a born-again Christian who's saving herself for marriage, but she thinks that once she has sex she'll be really freaky and she's gonna get her nipples pierced, then I think DEATH WILL ENSUE. Sixth, I have no respect for someone who bitches nonstop about the music they play at work. It's mostly pop rock kinda stuff, like NSync, BSB, and Britney type stuff, which I personally think is fun and it makes work go by a little bit faster. Okay, but I don't dislike her just because she doesn't like music that I like. I think she's retarded, is basically what it comes down to. She bitches about how all those groups are sellouts, too popular for her tastes, not "punk" enough, unoriginal, blah blah blah. But THEN, she goes off about how much she LOVES Alien Ant Farm. Hmmm, I hate Alien Ant Farm, and I'll tell you why. Groups like NSync and Britney Spears are clearly just talented frontmen. Somebody else writes and plays most of their music, does their choreography, picks out their clothes, and basically tells them what to do and when and where to do it. If they put up no false pretenses about who they are (or who they are not), then more power to them. BUT, AAF is a punk band. Punk bands are NOT supposed to get famous off of other people's music - that's one of the things that makes that genre of music so great... the fact that you know that the music is original, and most of the time it brings out a passion in the performers that I truly envy. So screw AAF for getting famous off of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal." I have no respect for that. So I explained this all to Jessi and told her that if she was gonna LOVE AAF, then she might as well be listening to NSync or BSB, and geez, you woulda thought I burned a cross or something - she looked at me like I was the most blasphemous person in the world. Ummm, I really didn't intend to go off about Jessi for that long - it bothers me that someone so petty and obviously lost can consume so much of my energy. Okay, so where was I? Right, Monday was crappy cuz I had to work with Jessi. Then I had to go and say stuff that could've waited, adding sooooo much extra, unnecessary stress. Oh, and somewhere in there I forgot to say (I think on Sunday) that Ruby, Diana, Kevin and I didn't get the apartment that we wanted, so we're still homeless for the time being. Oh yeah, I'm staying in SD! Okay, so Tuesday... I went to see my grandma by myself, and even though I know she's going to be fine, it still kills me to see her like that. This time they made me wear a mask as well as a gown and gloves. That was hard... even though I know she's gonna be fine (like how I keep emphasizing that? I really do believe it!), seeing her like that makes me cry. She deserves better than to have to lie unconscious amidst a sea of tubes and monitors... And I know that I'm being redundant, but this is how I feel... these are the things that just keep running through my mind... that it's not fair, and that it's hard, and aw crap I'm gonna cry again. Okay, so then work today was so freakin long... I was in agony all day because I was hungry and I really wanted to talk to my boy. I've been rambling for so long that my fingers are tired... or maybe it's just that it's 4:30am and my whole body is tired...

2002-08-20T23:04:00.000-04:00

My stomach hurts, my mouth is dry, my heart is racing... all because I haven't talked to my boy yet. He needs to come home and talk to me so that I know...

2002-08-18T00:23:00.000-04:00

So I'm thinking seriously about staying in San Diego and not going to South Africa. My reasoning? I think that when it comes down to it, I want to be in SD more than I want to be in S. Africa. Seems pretty simple... But I have all these doubts about whether that's what I'm gonna want later, or if that's what I want right now. I've been praying about it a lot, and I realized that if I was gonna stay, then I needed to find a more permanent living situation than Helen and Annie's couch. So then I was talking to Diana, and she said that they'd like to have another roommate... how perfect is that!?! So I talked to Ruby tonight, and she found a place in Clairemont that's 4 bd/ 2 bath for only $1700/mo. I'm not sure, but I think that I'm supposed to take that as my sign that I'm supposed to stay... I'm gonna talk to my mom and e-mail my EAP counselor tomorrow and see what they have to say, but pretty much my mind's made up that I'm staying. My grandpa's gonna be so happy. The thing that I'm most disappointed about is not actually going to and living in S. Africa, but just being able to tell people that I'm going to and have lived in S. Africa. So I think that's also a sign that I probably shouldn't go. It's a big decision, but I'm an "adult," supposedly capable of these sorts of things...

Anyone who prays, please pray for my grandma. The doctors diagnosed her tonight with Acute Respiratory Distress Failure, which means that the lining of her lungs has hardened and isn't absorbing oxygen the way that it's supposed to. There's nothing they can do for her except wait and see if her body fixes herself. I'm trying to keep the faith that she'll be alright, but the doctor told a nurse that he didn't think she'd make it. This is really, really hard for me to comprehend, but I can't imagine what it must be like for my grandpa, not to mention my mom and my aunt. So I'm gonna go see her tomorrow, and then I'm gonna go to church... since there's nothing I can do but believe that she's gonna be okay, that's what I'm gonna try to do.

Babe, thank you so much for making me feel better - you really don't understand how much you helped me tonight. You are wonderful, and I'm so lucky to have you. I miss you with all my heart, and my only smile of the day is for you. :-)

2002-08-16T01:06:00.000-04:00

So yeah, I haven't written a real blog in awhile now, mostly because during the small amount of time that I do get to be online each day, I'm talking to my boy. But he's not home right now, which leaves me time to write about all the bizarre and interesting occurrences that make up the crazy existence known as My Life.

My grandma has been in ICU since Sunday night. The doctors STILL don't really know what's wrong with her, and thus have not prescribed any sort of real treatment... this means that she hasn't gotten any better since she's been there. In fact, she's gotten worse... They put her on a respirator today, when before she was just on a machine that helped her breathe through a mask. Since they know she'll fight to pull out the respirator tube (she's totally feisty - I love my grandma), she's unconscious most of the time. My grandpa's a nervous wreck - he's practically living in the ICU waiting room... I'm worried sick, but I'm trying not to let my fears consume me and take over my days. I KNOW that my grandma's not gonna die - she's only 65, and way too awesome for that... I have faith that she'll be alright, but I just wish it were sooner rather than later. So yeah, that's the main reason why I've been sad lately. That, and Sarah's not my friend anymore (apparently I'm not worth her time) and my sister's really mean. But yeah, I'm trying not to think about that stuff...

For those of you who haven't seen the movie Signs, GO SEE IT NOW! Or at least, go see it if you want to get the shit scared out of you... I saw it on Saturday, and I'm still having trouble looking out the window at night for fear that a big, ugly alien will be staring right back at me. Seriously, there were numerous parts of the movie where I actually screamed out loud (embarrassing, but sometimes I just gotta be girly), and the rest of the movie was spent with my hands over my mouth in fright. It starts out a little slow, but TRUST ME, it gets better. Plus, parts of it are funny, and it's interesting that most of the movie takes place in one house, but it's not really a problem. Kind of like Gosford Park... okay, maybe not like that since I haven't seen it, but whatever...

So the weirdest people come in to JCP and talk to me like they've known me for years - it's totally bizarre. I don't reveal to them that I'm a Psych major - they just KNOW. I swear, I've heard so many life stories that I've lost count. Yesterday there was an 83-year-old tacky cowboy (he had a bolo tie AND fifty gold chains on) who told me about his wife and how she died in '86, and how they have 8 kids, but it woulda been 9 if she hadn't miscarried on account of the Red Measles... Then he started babbling about how he'd really like to get remarried someday... I don't mean to sound uncompassionate, but why would he tell me these things? Would you ever tell a stranger, a complete stranger, that your wife miscarried? Apparently JCP employees are privy to this info, cuz a lady told Erick the other day about how she had like four miscarriages... Anyway, today was even better. This Belgian guy came in and asked me if we had any "double-layer coats." Exactly what those are, I'm not sure, and neither was he... but I showed him our coats and explained to him that "This is Florida, so the need for 'double-layered anything' isn't too great..." So after he gave up on finding The Coat, he totally started hitting on me. I swear, I'm way too nice, cuz I just stood there while he blabbed on and on about how he wants a girlfriend, and how he's lonely... He said he was 23, but he looked more like 30-35... He seemed like a nice guy, not cute AT ALL, but nice enough, so I let him keep talking... didn't wanna be rude... So then he says (the first indication that he was crazy), "I feel like I know you very well, so I can tell you these things..." And then he proceeded to tell me why he's in Florida. Okay, so get this: Apparently, he was seeing this Puerto Rican girl up in New York (where he's been living for the past 4 years). She moved to Florida and was working at Disney World... he kept e-mailing her, but uh-oh! No response! According to him, this meant that her e-mail must be broken, or she hadn't been able to get to a computer (at this point, the guy can still be considered just clueless). So then he (I'm sure with some straight-up stalker action) acquires her address and phone number in FL. He calls her, and she's not home... SO THEN, instead of just CALLING BACK, which is what a normal person would do... HE COMES TO FLORIDA TO SEE HER. Yep, that's right folks - this guy is psycho. According to him, it's just his luck that the day before he went to Disney World to see his True Love, she left for Puerto Rico on a Habitat for Humanity type trip... Ummm, I got news for him - she saw him coming, turned around and ran as fast as she could, stopping only to tell a friend to feed him this lie about Puerto Rico. Okay, so we've established that he is crazy, but it gets better for me... Psycho Boy asks me out! First he asks how late I'm working, then my schedule for the whole week, then what time I'm having lunch... After turning him down politely, very politely, many, many times, I was like, "Dude, I have a boyfriend." At that point, he looked like he was gonna cry, and then asked where he could buy some good dried fruit and nuts... Uhhhh... Okay... So to wrap this up, if you're crazy, and you're in Florida, come to JCPenney in Merritt Island and talk to me... the Young Men's dept seems to be a Mecca for you people...

Okay, so for those of you who hadn't heard, I'm coming back to SD on September 9th. That's only 25 days away! Holy crap... that's only three and a half weeks! It's all downhill from here! I'm so excited... I wish I could take my family with me, but other than that, I will not miss this place one single bit.

2002-08-14T01:09:00.000-04:00

I'm still sad, but I'm doing better - at least I'm not crying anymore. Crying sucks - it's totally messy and makes you all ugly, with pink puffy eyes and a raw nose... yuck! I hope I never cry again!

Anyway, okay Rico and J-Lo, who I take to be Norm and Annie (perhaps Helen?) - fine! Just be like five million times more dateable than I am! It's okay, it's okay... I'm not gonna let this get me down!

2002-08-12T23:24:00.000-04:00

I am sad.

2002-08-11T23:15:00.000-04:00

Okay, SAD!!! I just took the "Are You Dateable" quiz on thespark.com and it says that I'm only 59% dateable! That means that 89% of the world's population is more dateable than I am!!! Sorry babe... if you're having second thoughts now, I totally understand :-P

hahaha - btw, my new buddy icon is freakin hilarious! Goodness I'm funny :-D

2002-08-11T23:09:00.000-04:00

Church was so wonderful tonight... FINALLY I found a Lifeteen parish, and while it didn't even compare to St. John's, it was so much better than the non-Lifeteen masses. My boy said he's gonna start going to church again, which is so great... I'm not one to tell people that they should or should not go to church - you should do what feels right for you, I think. But now I'll have someone to go with, and it'll actually be the person that I want to be there with anyway :-) So yeah, on the way home from church I saw, no joke, the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen in my entire life. Now, I thought I'd seen some beautiful sunsets in my day - I love when the sun goes down in SD, and sometimes the colors are amazing in NorCal... I've seen the sun going down on the Caribbean off the coast of the Bahamas, and I thought that I'd seen some pretty sunsets in Florida... But this one was amazing. And the only way that I could explain it is that is was obviously a gift from God. So thanks God :-D That was great. I feel like it was an answer to my prayers, ya know? Like I was asking if things were gonna be okay, and if things would turn out right, and that was his response... Sometimes I really love my life.

I don't have to work until 5 tomorrow!!!

So I'm totally classy, as is proven by my chosen literature. I will enlighten you all with a few excerpts from my classic book of choice "The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love."
---"There are certain words and/or gestures that are the same in any language -- Mayday, visa, exit, okay, grabbing your throat to tell the world you are choking. You can no doubt think of other examples. Well, blowjobs are that way -- timeless, universal, always desired and appreciated. Everybody wants a blowjob all the time... Yes, indeed. Blow jobs make the world go 'round, just in case you still thought it was love. Everything that happens, good or bad, in the entire world, can ultimately be traced back to a blow job, either given or withheld."
---"One clever mom had discovered how to avoid the sticky mess that always occurred when she gave her children ice cream. She swore that they were just as happy with an empty cone! I recall thinking those must be some serious dumbass kids if they couldn't tell the difference between ice cream and no ice cream."
--Talking about vibrators: "It was touted as a cure-all for headaches, asthma, 'fading beauty,' and tuberculosis. We would like to offer our personal testimony as to the efficacy of these happy little machines: Our headaches are gone, our asthma cleared up, our beauty actually needs to fade a bit to make it safer for us to go out in public, and not one of the Queens has ever had TB. We must say, those vibrator manufacturers are some creative little buggers."
---"We had never even heard of a butt-plug, and here we were, faced with an entire butt-plug department in a retail establishment."
---"So she shrieks across the bank, 'Beester! If you don't get down from there and get over here right now (Beester's an out of control four-year-old, just so ya know), I am gonna blister your bottom!' To which Beester retorts, at the top of his little lungs from his highly visible vantage point atop the officer's desk, 'No, you won't neither! 'Cause if you do, I'm gonna tell Meemaw that I saw you put your mouth on Daddy's weenie!' Talk about your slam-dunk. Doesn't this kid have leverage forever? I'm talking bulletproof for life."
--And for my babe: "Under the brilliant beam of the streetlight stood... a nekkid man. Now, I say nekkid because that's what he was. There's a profound difference between naked and nekkid. Naked is proud, noble, graceful, without shame or the need for it. Nekkid is, on the other hand... well, it's nekkid."

So just a little tidbit of how classy I am and how classy my reading choices are... but I'm lovin this book - so freakin funny :-P Ya know what else is funny? That the two things discussed in this blog are church and the book I'm reading, which consists mainly of blow job and other sex jokes... haha :-D Good thing God has a sense of humor...