I suck.

I found out yesterday that I am a "selectee" for the University of Cape Town in South Africa! I can't wait... I'm scared, but sooooo freaking excited.
Last night I went to the GBM, and then Marc came over in order to drown his sorrows in beer. I hope he's just overreacting when he says he may have flunked out of grad school - I can't even imagine what it would be like for him if he really did. Three years and thousands of dollars down the drain... Afterward, I went to karaoke with Jason B, Daco, Annie, Helen, Norm, Randall, Henry, and Steve - those guys are so much fun. It makes me happy to be included in their Tuesday Night Karaoke group...
Everyone's away messages (yes, I check them... yes, I'm a dork) lately have been so depressing! I wish there were something I could do to help everyone out, but I know that's kind of silly. I'm in Library Lounge, waiting for the Pledge Committee meeting to start - then I have a volleyball game, and then I have to write a 10-15 page paper on the sociobiological aspects of the Ten Plagues of Egypt and the Exodus of the Israelites. Yay... I bought NoDoz just for tonight, so it's all good.

Banquet was really fun, and so was the afterparty - Francesco and I devirginized 5 people on the beer bong! So my question is this: what is it about now that has caused to me to be this big ho at parties? I mean, it's a known fact that I like to kiss people when I'm drunk - it's fun. But I went almost a whole year without hooking up with anyone in APO, so why start now? Is it that the people are more receptive? Or that I'm just realizing that I'm attracted to them? Or what? I don't want to make a bad name for myself, cuz I know how rumors fly... I need to be smarter about things, but I don't want to stop having fun either. Summer's almost here, and then I won't see anyone for a few months, which will suck... plus then I'll only have one quarter with them before I leave for S. Africa, so I want to have as much fun as possible in my time left here. Why am I like this though? Why do I love everybody? I always see all of the awesome qualities in people, and never any of the bad, causing me to love so many people... it doesn't even matter now because I'm leaving in three weeks, but everyone is so wonderful... I wish I could tell them how I feel when they're not drunk so that they'll remember. Would it make a difference though? Everyone has so much baggage, and what do I have to offer?

Ashlee and I watched "The Others" tonight, and I thought it was a really good movie. I like it when there's a big twist at the end. Anyone (which is everyone) who has never watched a scary movie with Ashlee, I definitely recommend it. She makes the movie five million times scarier because she screams and jumps at every tense part... normally I don't get really scared, but when I watch a scary movie with her I want to run to my bed and hide under the covers. We couldn't even watch the Exorcist a couple months ago - we had to turn it off because it was just too much for us to handle, and I've see that movie like ten times!

I had a dream about Paul Giffen last night... why does that boy haunt me?

Shit - I have two papers due on Thursday, one of which has to be 10-15 pages long... I repeat: SHIT!

I told my mom tonight that I'm going to S. Africa, and she took it pretty well. I think I knew that she would, and honestly I would have been upset if she had gotten mad - after all, she is supporting my brother's dropping out of college (he just finished his fourth year, by the way) to go to pilot's school. She's just worried about me, and she says that if she needs to come rescue me she wouldn't be able to afford it... I'm betting that I won't need to be rescued, but I guess you never know. I'm scared that I won't fit in, and I'm scared that I'll hate it there. I'm scared that I'll be all alone and nobody will be there to give me a hug and tell me that it'll be okay. I know it's normal to be afraid before you do something big like this, but I think it's a little soon for me to be worrying... I'm not leaving till February. Anyway, my mom's cute, cuz the first thing she said was, "But I don't even have a passport!" Even though she doesn't need one - I do - she decided that we'll go get them together just in case she has to make an emergency trip (that she can't afford) to Cape Town next year... I love my mom.